Nordic Football News

Tampere United v FC Honka, Sunday 6:30pm

Tampere United have all the finesse, skill, confidence and panache of a bag of used cat litter right now. Their 1-0 loss to Haka was not an awful performance, but their goalkeeper messes up big time and they lost. he’s a young lad and should be replaced, but now Mikko kaven has a knee injury. Or at least, he says he has a knee injury. He didn’t have a knee injury when he got dropped, and the suspicion is that his friendship with those who recently left TamU means he is out of favour and unlikely to return while AriHjelm is still calling the shots.

Needless to say, this is a laughably unprofessional way for a football club to operate (if indeed that is how it is operating), and Honka are likely to win the game.

Away win

TPS v VPS, Sunday 6:30pm

Vepsu’s new management team travels to Turku for a tough first match. The departure of Tomi Kärkäinen is an interesting contrast with Tampere United, where the internationally well-connected sporting director was smoked out, as Vepsu’s SD Juha Reini has stepped down (or up?) to work with the first team and former assistant coach Petri Vuorinne.

Petteri Forsell is out for the Vaasans, as are Kainu, Tuuri and Ahlvik. TPS have a full squad barring Ääritalo, and should get a home win to make up for their derby loss to Inter.

Home win

IFK Mariehamn v MYPA, Sunday 6:30pm

Just what the fuck are MyPa playing at, with their random capitalisation? In their official communication they’re been MYPA this season, on the Veikkausliiga website, in certain unscrupulous media outlets. What about tradition? What about the Myllykoski and the Pallo that have historically formed their moniker? Are they just to be cast aside in favour of this ugly, capitalised monstrosity? Fuck no. NFN resists!

Home win

FC Lahti v FF Jaro, Sunday 6:30pm

I’m still angry about mypa, but I’ll try to plough on regardless. Lahti have just won the basketball championships, so if their players have any sense they’ll be out getting very drunk right now. Lets face it, Lahti has very little else to be happy about.

Jaro are nice, lovely, unthreatening and nice, everybody loves Jaro in a rather patronising way. They have a good team, and they could get something out of this. Litmanen is out for Lahti, according to veikkausliiga.com, so the crowd will be hangover-hit and unstarstruck. Yet more material for the Veikkausliiga-is-dying-on-its-arse-because-the-crowds-are-low naysayers is likely.

Draw

Haka v RoPS, Sunday 6:30pm

I have not yet mentioned the pre-match entertainment offered before the Haka-TamU game. For those unfamiliar with his work, Frederick, king of Finland’s discos is an unbelievable phenomenon. The publicity in the programme contained the word ‘macho’ 6 times, the kind of advance telegraphing that is only necessary for the kind of macho men that need to stuff toilet paper down their trousers before going on stage. Observe:

As you can see, it’s a bizarre warm-up act for Oka Huttunen and Mika Mäkitalo, but that’s how Sedu seems him, and them, and Haka. It’s difficult not to laugh, but not difficult to hope they lose (they won’t).

Home win

Those interested in Finland’s prospects for the Under 21 European Championships this summer should  check out the under21euros blog, where they have news on Finland’s provisional squad for the tournament.